this whole journal i have is basically for myself, by the way. I donapos;t expect anyone to read it.
i realized today that iapos;m in love with two people, and falling for another. Itapos;s really crazy... I know that one of them is in love with me, too. But, she has a girlfriend.�her girlfriend thinks that me and her are best friends, haha. We just completly understand eachother no matter what. Itapos;s like shes my soulmate, but we can never be because of her girlfriend. Sheapos;s probably the only person that would know who "anonymous_cr33p" or "x"�is. To tell you the truth, i think that her and her girlfriend are going to get married. The other one is the girl i mentioned earlier in a previous journal, sheapos;s beautiful. I also think that iapos;m falling for someone else. Itapos;s a boy this time, though. Itapos;s my boyfriendapos;s bestfriend, damnit. I always get myself in situations like this. I fall for all the wrong people. But anyways, heapos;s really a sweetheart. He has extremely low self-esteem, but heapos;s hilarious. Me and him are a lot alike, too.
thereapos;s this place by my house that i go to a lot. Itapos;s a school, but not the one i go to. Itapos;s kindof big, but not really. I went there when i was younger. I walked around to the back of the school and climbed up on the roof. I walked on the roof all the way to the front of the school and just stood there, in the rain, smoking a cigarette, wondering if i would ever get the balls to jump. Also wondering what kind of damage a fall from that height would do, but not so much caring. I sat down and thought to myself "youapos;re a pussy." i felt like i was on top of the world, even though i was off the ground roughly 40 ft.
my boyfriend said he loved me today as i was leaving. -__- i never know what to say when people do that. I kinda just smiled and walked away. I just thought to myself as i put one foot in front of the other, "why?" ...�heapos;s not the best, most say i could to do better. He has a child with someone he told me had moved to new york a year ago, and i found out today that she just goes to a different school than him in the same area... That was really fucking cool. I really dont care too much that he has a daughter, itapos;s just the fact that he is lying about it constantly. Honestly, iapos;m not that much of a "caring" person, i could give a damn about most things that would drive others into a divorce. Like cheating, doing drugs, drinking, smoking, choosing friends over me, having a child with someone he barley knows, ect... Just expect some of the same for me, although iapos;m not big on cheating, myself. I just canapos;t stand being lied to.
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